Truth or Dare: What You Need To Know
by G4 Fan Man
Summary: Anakin Skywalker, Obiwan Kenobi, Aayla Secura, Kit fisto, Shaak ti. what do they have in common? their about to play Truth or Dare!Pairings:AaylaxKit Shaak tixGrievous Teen for later stuff and a whole bunch of Lemons
1. Im Bored!

"I'm bored!" the voice of Anakin Skywalker wailed through the ship bridge as Jedi Master's Obi-wan Kenobi, Shaak-ti, and Kit-fisto along with the Knight Aayla Secura all heard for the Billionth time that day. "Sigh, we realize you are bored Anakin but continuously rambling about it is not going to change it!" Master Obi-wan tried to say as calmly as he could. These particular Jedi were being sent on a mission to Onderon to gather information on a cult of renegade Mandalorian's and it was a very, very long and boring trip.

"Sigh, now I remember the other reason I decided not to take another Padawan." Shaak-ti sighed. "I swear by the force, If he says it one more time!" Aayla Secura was losing her patients with the young Knight who had been complaining the entire trip. "Why don't you think of something productive to do Anakin?"

Kit-fisto practically begged. "I've been doing that for the past 6 hours though!" Anakin again complained. "well why don't you play a game!" Obi-wan had just gone over the edge and was willing to play any stupid eye-spy game just to shut up his annoying former Padawan.

"Hmm, like what?" Anakin asked. "You could try the quite game!" Both Aayla and Kit exclaimed. "You could try to hold your breath until you pass out!"

Shaak-ti growled also rather annoyed. "Or how about you go into the garbage chute and get sucked out into space!" Obi-wan was fervently pissed now and was about to actually do it when Anakin suddenly suggested... "Or we could play Truth or Dare!" "WHAT?" every Jedi but Anakin was totally confused there.

"Truth or dare, I used to play it on Tatooine it's where you…(Anakin explains)." "Hmm, it sounds interesting." Shaak-ti admitted. "It is, and were gonna play it!" Anakin quickly grabbed the yoke of the ship from Obi-wan and pushed the auto-pilot button. "Ok lets play!" They all got into a circle in the middle of the bridge.

Anakin: "Ill start since your all new at this, Obi-wan truth or dare?"

Obi-wan: "Hmm, ill pick truth."

Anakin: "Chicken, anyway who was your first love?" Anakin asked.

Obi-wan: "Jedi aren't allowed to love so no one."

Anakin: "hey, No lying, ok everyone he lied so we must all use force persuasion at once. Go!" Suddenly all the other Jedi used force persuasion on Obi-wan, it was to much and he was suddenly blurting out the answer.

Obi-wan: "Gah, my light saber!"

Shaak-ti: "Your light saber?"

Aayla: "Wow, ill never look at that light saber the same way again!"

Anakin: "bwahahahahahahahahahahahhaha!"

Obi-wan: "Shut up! May I remind you that Padme still doesn't know about your secret noodle sculpture?" The second Obi-wan said that Anakin's face pailed.

Anakin: "you wouldn't!"

Obi-wan: "I would."

Kit: "Noodle sculpture?"

Aayla: "What the heck is that?

Shaak-ti: "Sounds inappropriate."

Anakin: "blush, grr shut up and go Obi-wan."

Obi-wan: "ok, Shaak-ti Truth or Dare?"

Shaak-ti: "Dare." Shaak-ti wasn't about to be asked her first love and be put through the ordeal of admitting her love of a Cyborg.

Anakin: "Ooo, She's tough."

Obi-wan: "Ok I dare you to…call Grievous and ask him out on a date!"

Shaak-ti: "What, why would I do that! And besides its against our Jedi code!"

_Silence! For I am the author of this story and I say piddles to the code!_

Anakin: "Big guys got a point."

Obi-wan: "looks like you got to make a phone call." Obi-wan grinned slyly.

Shaak-ti: "Oh man this is gonna be hell!"

**I shall stop there. Lady-Warrioress I plan on making this a kit-aayla, and Shaak-tixGrievous fic. I will not update till I get 10 reviews. **


	2. Phone Call

**(Finally! I got my 10 reviews! Enjoy and review)**

The room was filled with silence and the air was thick with excitement as the Jedi Master began to dial General Grievous's Phone # (_A/N bear with me people I don't know how she would have it but who cares_.)

Anakin: "Hoy man she's doing it!"

Every one but Shaak ti: "OOOOO!"

Shaak ti: "You guys shut up, he may not even be home!" She yelled as she began to dial his number. **Ring Ring**The other end rang as Shaak ti twisted the cord in anticipation.

Shaak ti: "You guys are so gonna regret this later!" She gasped as a voice on the other end answered.

"Hello?" It was non other than…

Shaak ti: "Oh why hello Count Dooku!" **DUM DUM DUUM!**

Anakin: "Its Dooku! Shoot him down!"

Obi-wan: "maybe later Anakin, lets let Shaak ti continue the dare"

Dooku: "Why hello Master Shaak ti, what a pleasure to hear from you! How may I help you?" The old geezer asked hoping to chat with someone other than his Master or Grievous.

Shaak ti: "Actually could I please speak to Grievous?" She asked he voice kind of shaky as Anakin was being held back from stealing the phone by the others. (Imagine Obi wan holding his legs while Kit sat on him and Aayla held his mouth shut)

Dooku: "Oh ok ill get him." He sadly called for Grievous

Shaak ti: "Thank you Master Dooku and may the force be with you."

Dooku: "You to."

The crowd sat in silence, well except for Anakin who couldn't breathe and was beginning to turn purple. Shaak ti waited in silence until Grievous's voice came from the other end.

Grievous: "WHAT WHO IS IT? WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHO DARES INTERUPPT MY DAILY BUBBLE BATH!" The insane Cyborg shouted as He squeezed the head of his rubber duck causing the head to pop off.

Shaak ti: "Oh hello Grievous, um this is Shaak ti." Grievous suddenly perked up

Grievous: "Oh hello Shaak ti, what can I help you with?" The crowd looked interested that is until Aayla suddenly screamed.

Aayla: "OW! Anakin pinched my butt!" everyone turned to look at the now indigo Anakin and blinked.

Anakin: "Well I didn't have much of a choice you were suffocating me!"

Aayla: "Well you could have tapped my shoulder you didn't have to pinch my butt!" she said rubbing her Gluteous Maximus

Grievous: "Say I thought I heard screaming. Is there a slaughter going on? Can I join?"

Shaak ti: "Um no that was just some Jedi matters, but me and a few friends are playing truth or dare you wanna play?" there was silence…

Grievous: "HOT DAMN! ILL PLAY! CONSIDER IT A DATE!" He said it so long that everyone in the room could hear it and Shaak ti was shaking her head to get rid of the ringing.

Shaak ti: "Ok great well give you our coordinates." As she was saying it the General came rushing through the air lock trash remover nearly killing everyone else.

Grievous: Im here!" He then grabbed Shaak ti's waste and pulled her over to the rest of the group.

Everyone: "Um how did you… never mind lets play."

Grievous: "Great! Obi wan, Truth or Dare?"


	3. Its a date!

_Hello peoples, as you may already know people really like this story of mine. And that's why it pains me to tell you that unless I have 50 count it (50) reviews by the Friday of this week I will be forced to shut this story down. Spread the word and pray to God that someone out there loves you for otherwise this may be the last chapter of my beloved story… ENJOY!_

Anakin with a red face: "Hold it, Shaak ti just went so now she gets to Dare someone."

Grievous: "oh ok, Shaak ti continue."

Shaak ti: "hmmm, Aayla Truth or Dare?"

Aayla: "Dare." The young Twielek announced showing bravery.

Shaak ti: "Ok I dare you to beat the living crap out of Anakin for pinching your butt."

Obiwan: "That's not a dare!" The wise Master complained as Aayla began to throttle

Anakin with the hilt of her light saber.

Anakin: "Ow! Oww! Owww!" He cried as his head was barraged with thousands of Knight speed smacks to the head.

Aayla: "This is what you get for F around with Twielek's! go pilot the ship!" She yelled as she force pushed him to the ship.

Anakin: "Ye-Yes ma'am." He choked as he began to pilot the ship.

Aayla: "Now then! Lets continue!" The group all shakily agreed including Grievous not wanting to invoke the wrath of the Blue Lady with attitude.

Grievous Whispering: "She's scarier than a Rancor with a Hernia!" He whispered to Shaak ti.

Shaak ti: "Hold me!" She cried in terror.

Aayla: "Kit, Truth or Dare?"

_Well Peoples this is it, 50 reviews by Friday or you will never see another chapter again! (Evil Predator laugh from the first one where Arnold runs like shit to escape the nuclear wrist bomb thingy)_


	4. Cup sizes and :Lemons:

_HELLO ALL MY LOYAL VIEWERS! BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA! _I lied

_Of course I would update my fan fic! You nimrods I love writing and if I can write something that makes people happy then I'm sure as hell going to update it!_

_ Now sit down, Shut up, and enjoy!_

The group all looked in terror at the Jedi Master who was at the very mercy of the very Twielek who had just kicked the Chosen one's ass.

Kit: "Uh um Truth." He choked worried that the twitchy Twielek would snap at any moment and throw their dismembered bodies out the air chute.

Aayla: "Oh ok then, hmm who do you think has bigger boob's Me or Shaak ti?"

Grievous: "Shaak ti!." It sounded like a sneeze.

Kit: "Um…Um, You?" The wise Nautilon knew that the wrong answer could mean instant death and he was sure as hell not about to die.

Aayla: "Oh nice answer." She said seductively. "Now here's your prize!" She pulled him into a passionate kiss that ended with Fisto's nose bleeding rapidly and Aayla's shirt ripping.

Obi-wan: "Wow! And after one kiss!"

Anakin: "Padme can do better."

Grievous: "pst pst pss." Grievous whispered something into Shaak ti's ear that made her face turn scarlet and smile.

Kit: "Well then, Obi-wan Truth or Dare?"

Obi-wan: "Mmm, Dare."

Kit: "Ok then." He suddenly pulled a big bowl of Lemons out of his robes. "I dare you to suck on every single one of these Lemons without stopping!"

Everyone: "Ooooo!"

Obi-wan: "Gulp!" Kit handed Obi-wan the fruit and left the room. "I'm sorry but I have a weak stomach and this could be nasty!" Everyone left the room in agreement with Shaak ti and Grievous fondling.

Grievous: "While we take this break what do you say we discuss a truce? I'm getting tired of all this fighting crap."

Shaak ti: "Ok, lets go."

_Many hours later…_

Everyone entered the room where they had left Obi-wan in hours ago and they had just negotiated a peaceful solution to the war.

Grievous: "Ok so we are agreed, I get the Galactic Hot tub lounge on Tuesday's through Friday's and you get it the other days."

Everyone: "Agreed." _Mean while in the Galactic Core worlds Clone's and Droid's alike were embracing in hugs of friendship for today they were freaks of peace and not violence, for now Clone men could sleep with Droid women and Droid men could shoot the son of a bitch in the balls for sleeping with his wife and not have an entire squadron of his Droid brothers with him to do it._

Grievous: "Ok let me call this in, dials a phone Hello? Sidious big news I got us a Hot tub slot, I know isn't it great! Hold on…" He gazed at Anakin. "Sidious sends his love. Now then, Boss were playing Truth or Dare. Want to join? Ok see ya then." He hung up. "He'll be here later."

Anakin: "I wonder how Obi-wan went with his Dare?" The question was soon answered at the sight of a pale Obi-wan on the ground with an empty bowl minus a few stray lemon seeds.

Anakin: "Gasp! Master!" He quickly jumped on top of him smacking him around and jabbing at him to wake up.

Anakin: "No Master get up get up!" He glared at the bowl of lemon seeds. "You did this to him you Bastard! He began to beat the Bejesus out of the bowl. "Damn you! Damn you to hell! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Everyone stared at Obi-wan. Aayla poked him with a stick. Shaak ti threw pebbles at him. Kit bawled like a bitch at his side. Grievous however kneeled at his side and said

Grievous: "Hey Obi-wan, Padme is running down the hall in nothing but a thong. Suddenly Obi-wan's eyes were filled with new life as he spit the lemon lodged in his throat out square on Grievous's face.

Obi-wan: "Who What Where Thong!"

Anakin: "Hurray he's alive! Sorry guys I guess we wont need you after all." He addressed a herd of witch doctors covered in paint with eager faces ready to bring him to life.

Witch doctors: "_Grumble grumble_."

Shaak ti was staring at Grievous with a face full of fright. "Uh oh." Grievous stared at the lemon and declared… "Oh its war!"

Shaak ti: "Here we go again!"

_Mean while on the Core worlds Clone's and Droids alike were covered with the oil and blood of their fallen enemies, for now a Clone man could sleep with a Droid woman and get shot in the nuts by the Droid man along with an entire squadron of Droid buddies covering his back._

_(Well what did you think? P.S. Lady Warrioress can you update Punishment soon.)_


	5. Revenge of the Lemons

_(Yes yes I realize I haven't updated in almost 2 months HOWEVER…IF YOU SLIMY ARRAGANT PEACES OF SLIMY WORM CORPSE EVER GIVE ME JUST 3 REVIEWS FOR A CHAPTER AGAIN ILL TURN ALL OF YOU IN TO MINCE MEAT! _Now please enjoy the chapter!)

The group had finally quieted down from the rather unpleasant mishap involving Obi-wan's lemon.

Shaak ti: "So who's next?" Obi-wan decided it was time for payback and he was going to get it one way or the other…

Obi-wan: "Anakin Truth or Dare?" He smiled in an evil way

Anakin: "Dare." He didn't see it coming…

Obi-wan: "Alright then. Grievous you're going to have to leave the room for a few minutes for this to work." Grievous simply shrugged and did as he was told.

Obi-wan: "Good now Anakin I dare you to strip Kit naked and throw him on top of Shaak ti!"

Shaak ti, Kit Fisto, Anakin, Aayla: "WHAT!" They all screamed at the same time.

Anakin: "Hey Aayla why did you scream?"

Aayla: "I cant have my bitch jumping naked on top of other women!"

Kit: "I'm not your bitch!"

Aayla: "Yes you are!" She turned into scary Aayla again and showed fangs that could bite through a Kreat Dragon.

Kit: "O- Ok I'm your bitch!" He shakily agreed knowing that if he didn't he could die.

Shaak ti: "I don't care if he's Yoda's Bitch! (off in the distance on Coruscant Yoda suddenly went bug eyed. MACE: "What's wrong?" YODA: "Strange it is. Could have sworn I heard someone call me a bitch they did.")

Shaak ti: "He is not jumping on me!" Obi-wan suddenly force confused Shaak ti.

Obi-wan: "Now Anakin now now!" As Anakin undressed Kit Aayla jumped in lightsaber drawn to defend her bitch while Obi-wan fought her off. After a few minutes it was done and Kit lay atop a confused Shaak ti bare as the day he was born.

Obi-wan: "Perfect. Oh Grievous you can come out now!" Kit suddenly went bug eyed as the gigantic cyborg walked out and nearly fainted as he witnessed Shaak ti being molested by an ugly green skinny Jedi.

Grievous: "No get off of my bitch you ugly green skinny Jedi!" He rushed over and beat the blue bloody be-jeezus out of Kit while Obi-wan laughed in vengeance.

The rest of the hour was spent watching Kit scream in agony, Shaak ti look like Yoda had just molested a Wookie, Aayla beating the crap out of Obi-wan's head and Anakin taking 5 showers out of the grossness of touching a green skinny ugly Jedi.

_(Yes yes I know not as long as usual but this is what you get for not giving me nice reviews! Without my reviews my brain just couldn't handle all the empty mail days! Stay tuned for next chapter when Sidious joins!)_


	6. We want you!

_(((Hi people! Yes I know I haven't updated in a long time but I had a very good list of reasons! 1. I was grounded for 2 weeks cause my stupid ass little $#! of a brother let the dogs poop and pee on our parents carpet. I swear I am gonna kill those puppies…2.My little autistic brother Lincoln always calls me names so when I scream at him to shut up I get in trouble and he just hops on the computer that I have lost for another day. I really hate this family… ANYWAY! Get ready for one of the funniest chapters of all time! And also I will be holding a very special contest with details at the end of this chapter so read and review!)))_

We left off with Anakin in the shower, Kit being tortured, Shaak ti in trauma, and of course Obi wan getting his ass kicked by our favorite blue twielek.

Anakin: "Wow I never thought that so many showers could still not make me feel any cleaner!" He said sitting down and placing his hands in a gallon of hand sanitizer.

Aayla: "P.U.! Anakin that stuff stinks!

Anakin: "I need it though! I touched a gross skinny yucky green Jedi!"

Grievous: "Well after today it would be better to call him a gross skinny yucky Blue, Red, Purple, Indigo, Violet, Pink, Yellow, And green Jedi." He said sitting down while cradling Shaak ti.

Grievous: "Our you alright Shaak?" Shaak ti began to stir before finally coming together.

Shaak ti: "I-I think so." She got up to see a very messy site.

Shaak ti: "Oh my… What happened to Obi wan?" She asked indicating the now bloody broken corpse of the fallen Jedi Master.

Anakin: "Obi wan! Obi wan!"

Grievous: "Well it looks like we are down two members of the game." He said pointing to a very grim looking Kit.

Shaak ti: "What are we gonna do?" She asked feeling glum that she didn't get to have a turn and take a totally off the record dark side worthy revenge against Obi wan.

Aayla: "Hmm." Suddenly the ships phone rang. "Ill get it!"

Aayla: "Hello?" It was non other than! (Sidious fans hold your breaths!)………………………………………………………………………………… THE PIZZA GUY!

Grievous: "What the hell who phoned you?" Anakin stood up and got the pizza while paying $50 credits of Kits pilfered cash. "Hehehehe."

Anakin: "I ordered it to celebrate the new treaty that was lost when Obi wan spit a lemon on your helmet."

Grievous: "Oh well I don't have a stomach so no thanks." Aayla got up.

Aayla: "Ill take a slice."

Anakin: "Nooooooooooooooo!" His scream sent Aayla packing straight into the garbage disposal.

Aayla: "Damn you the One!"

Shaak ti: "The one?"

Grievous: "You know, Like the Matrix. How in that funny foamy the squirrel cartoon they make fun of the one and Anakin is the chosen one?"

Shaak ti: "Oh! Not funny…" As the smoke settled a terrible truth was revealed…

Anakin: "We have no celebration!" Suddenly a ship was spotted on the radar. It was non other than…

Everyone still conscious: "Sidious!"

Sidious on the Holo-vid: "Hello Jedi scum and Droid bitch."

Grievous whispering: "Cross dresser."

Shaak ti: giggle

Sidious on the holo-vid: "Well as you know Grievous invited me here so let us begin!"

Anakin: "Hurray something to celebrate!" Sidious on the holo-vid disappeared and out from the refresher door with the help of smoke for a dramatic entrance stood Sidious.

Sidious: "Hello everyone."

Shaak ti: "Whats with the smoke?"

Sidious: "Oh um nothing…" (It's a bathroom people)

Grievous: "Well even with you here it wont help. There are only 4 of us now."

Sidious: "I hope you don't mind but I brought some friends." Out of the smoke carried by one of Grievous guards was Count Dooku.

Anakin: "Dooku!" He lunged at him only to be bitch slapped by the droid.

Anakin: "What the hell?" He lunged again only to be bitch slapped again. The others watched with interest as for the next 12 hours Anakin was bitch slapped.

Grievous: "For the love of all things droid get the hell over here and let' play!"

Anakin: "Fine." He walked over with the droid who layed the unconscious Dooku on the ground.

Shaak ti: "What happened to him?"

Sidious: "Eh the kid was all freaky like that crazy Squirrel in over the hedge so I Force Lightning him to the other side of the ship. He doesn't get out of his cage much."

Shaak ti: "Oh." She said poking him with a stick.

Sidious: "Alright, Shaak ti truth or dare?"

Shaak ti: "Umm." She didn't know what to choose with a Sith Lord. He could make her tell her most embarrassing dream story. Or he could dare her to give Him a lap dance. (partly thank Grievous's lady for that)

Shaak ti: "Um Um Um. Dare!" She still had lots of secrets to protect and whatever her dared her to do would be his fault not hers.

Sidious: "Hahahahaha! Excellent. I dare you to join the dark side!"

Anakin: "Hey that's my scene!"

Shaak ti: "Why do you want me to join the dark side?" He tossed her a very slutty black outfit worthy of Aayla

Shaak ti: "You have got to be kidding me…"

Sidious: "Oh no its all in the official Sith rule book. You see every Sith must have black and look cooler then a Jedi. Also the more children you eat the more free chips you get at Black Jack.

Grievous: "Bull shit. I must have eaten 12 children and only got 5 free chips at Black Jack!"

Sidious: "Um do you hear a Darth before your name Droid bitch?"

Grievous: "I hate you…"

Shaak ti: "Hey um why is my out fit so revealing?"

Sidious: "Read the rule book."

Anakin: "Oh man she's wearing that!" Anakin could feel his heart skip a few beats.

Grievous: "This is going to be my most cherished memory." He said deleting his children's births in his most cherished memory section of his lap top so he had room.

Shaak ti: "Sigh, well I guess I have no choice." She said going to the bathroom to put it on.

Anakin: "Hey Sidious. What were you doing in our bathroom anyway?"

Sidious: "I had to pee."

Anakin: "Oh." He said gagging at the thought of an old guy peeing in there.

Shaak ti: "Here I come." She yelled from the bathroom.

Grievous: "Anakin get the camera ready!"

Anakin: "Ready!" As everyone stared in awe at the now incredibly hotter Shaak ti somewhere in the distance on Coruscant Master Yoda gasped.

Windu: "What is wrong?" (Seriously people Mace is everywhere with Yoda. Stalker maybe…)

Yoda: "Happened a terrible thing has. Go to the Jedi on there way to Onderon I must!"

_(Well what do you think? I know it's awesome. But now to business. As you know I have been really late on fulfilling my chapters. So I propose a contest. All of you my loyal fans are going to have a chance to Write their own personal chapter for this fic! Email me your chapters and the one I love the most will get to be added to this story as the next chapter!"_


	7. Sexism and you!

_This chapter is short cause I only had 5 minutes cause I am grounded… (death to parents + )_

The group stared in wonder at the now hardly in anything black leathered Jedi Master who happened to make the Chosen One's pants tighter then when Padme talks nice to him.

Anakin: "Holy Sith spit!" He stared at the blushing Jedi who could visibly be seen quivering as she stepped forward in her skanky black outfit. (_this is what she's wearing and no I did not draw that sadly  http/ )_

Grievous: "Sidious I swear If I wasn't busy behind this couch right now I would tear you into Krayt Dragon fodder for flirting with my date!" The droid Commander shouted.

Sidious: "Hahahahahaha, soon the rest of my evil plot will unfold!" He cackled pulling out a light saber from his robes and handing it to Shaak ti. (Hey I'm gonna be writing a story where Shaak ti joins Sidious instead of Anakin. What do you think?)

Sidious: "Here is your new weapon my Female apprentice."

Shaak ti: "Hey what do you mean FEMALE?" She shouted giving him Sith yellow eyes that made Grievous sigh happily at her cuteness.

Sidious: "Um what do you mean?"

Shaak ti: "I mean what are you doing segregating me like that hmm? What is it cause I'm a woman!" Sidious stepped back gulping.

Sidious: "Oh no, its not that!"

Shaak ti: "I should kick your ass you sexist son of a Sith!"

Sidious: "Hey leave my Mother out of this!" He ignited his light saber.

Shaak ti: "Bring it on baldy!" They clashed light sabers while Anakin finished up the Pizza from last chapter.

Anakin: "Well this sucks! No one dared anyone!"

Grievous: "Look at the bright side, we now have a film of Shaak ti in a two piece black lace panty outfit that will make us filthy filthy rich on E-bay!"

Anakin: "Hurray panty shots!"

As the ship made its way to Onderon an unknown ship flew behind them which was soon identified by the sound of Mace Windu's weeping.

Mace: "Why don't you love me!"

Yoda: "Windu you don't love me you love the idea of me!"

_YA um this chapter sucked I know. Enjoy it anyway!_


	8. Women

_Ah! My loyal fans! It has been so long. I am very sorry for not updating in such a long time but at least I didn't decide to tank the story!_

Shaak ti and Sidous were done fighting. Grievous was finished behind the couch. Anakin had just gotten through counting all his cash from the pictures of Shaak ti in hot undies. And Dooku was starting to wake up which pretty much kills the mood…

Anakin: "Sweet mother of money! I've made a total of 69484320 credits and still rising!"

Grievous: "Remember that's my bitch you be making that green off uh so…" Anakin slipped a fold of cash to Grievous.

Grievous: "Nice doing business with you."

Shaak ti: "I Gasp am going to kick your gasp ass Anakin!" Anakin cackled in a evil way and sat back down.

Sidious: "Come on let's continue this game!" Everyone sat down.

Sidious: "Now I believe it was your turn my new sexy apprentice." Shaak ti huffed and looked around.

Shaak ti: "Anakin Truth or Dare?

Anakin: "Dare."

Shaak ti: I dare you to give all of your money to charity and take down those pictures of me on the internet."

Anakin: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Everyone held their ears as Anakin began weeping and proceeded with the VERY evil dare.

Sidious: "Well done my apprentice, the dark side is strong in you." Shaak ti blushed at the comment.

Shaak ti: "Wait a minute! I don't want to be a Sith!" Grievous nearly passed out as her cleavage wobbled around.

Grievous: "Oh I swear this is the happiest day of my life!"

_Meanwhile… _

Yoda: "Soon it is that we will reach the Jedi."

Mace: "Till then wanna make out?"

Yoda: "DIE!"

_Back in the mostly sane world…_

Anakin: "Ok-sniff- it's done. All of my money is gone and all the photos are gone!" Anakin sobbed openly as if he had lost a dear friend.

Shaak ti: "Oh suck it up you big baby! It's your turn anyway!" Anakin thought for a moment before a VERY VERY evil idea came to him.

Shaak ti: "Um… Dare…Shit I mean Truth Truth!"

Anakin: "To late! I Dare you to strip naked and dance! And you can't do anything to hurt or scar me!" Shaak ti's eye twitched as she gritted her teeth.

Shaak ti: "WHEN I'M DONE WITH THIS I'M GONNA RIP OFF YOUR-"

Anakin: "You can't hurt me." Shaak ti whimpered at what she was going to have to do and what she couldn't do.

Shaak ti: "I swear if you have a camera…"

Anakin: "I don't now dance!" Shaak ti sighed and stripped.

Every male on the ship including Obi-wan, Kit and Dooku who have regained consciousness Yay: wolf whistle

Shaak ti dancing: "Anakin I hope you realize that Grievous is gonna kill you for this."

Anakin: "Oh shi-" Grievous grabbed Anakin by the throat.

Grievous: "I hope you were able to enjoy your life because it's over."

Aayla: "Yay I'm back!" Everyone but Sidious and Dooku suddenly jumped back in fear of the Blue terror'

Sidious: "What's with you guys?"

Dooku: "Ya what's so scary about this big blue bitch?" Everyone gasped as Aayla smiled sweetly and then did a total freak out as she tore Dooku and Sidious apart.

Sidious+Dooku: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

Aayla: "BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD…"

Everyone ran into the kitchen to play cards while trying to ignore the blood chilling screams of the scene they left.

Shaak ti: "Oh no my clothes!"

Grievous: "Here I shall cover your from these perverts." a warm glompy hug with blushes all around.

_Back to Yoda and Mace…_

Yoda: "Sorry I am that it came to this."

Mace: "No I'm sorry, I shouldn't have forgotten to take my meds for my tacky in your face attitude, it has the worst effects on me."

Yoda: "So all is forgiven?"

Mace: "All." Yoda smiled as he pushed the button that fired the escape pod holding Mace and 2 tons of explosive.

_Is this the end of Mace? Will I get flamed for making Shaak ti dance naked? Is Sidious and Dooku REALLY that stupid? Find out NEXT TIME!_


	9. The Godfather

_Been a few months sense my last update… like last year! So I imagine your all humor horny or whatever the hell my fans are -' enjoy!_

Shaak ti and Grievous had finally been forced to end their snuggling when Grievous tore off Anakin's shirt (all you ladies out there are drooling now aren't you?) which he gave to Shaak ti to wear.

Shaak ti: "I feel kind of dirty wearing his shirt, its like we just had sex and I'm wearing it like a trophy!"

Anakin blushed and felt like someone threw his light saber down his pants.

Obi wan: "Be mindful of your thoughts Anakin they can betray you, and then two things will happen: Grievous will tear you into tiny little midi chlorian sized bites…"

Anakin swallowed hard.

Obi wan: "Or Padme can tear your 'light saber' into little midi chlorian sized bites…"

Anakin swallowed harder and nodded as a knock was heard at the door.

Kit: "Anakin I dare you to go open the door!"

Kit said scared as ever while everyone shook with the idea that Aayla had returned for them.

Anakin: "Why me!?"

He asked completely forgetting he had a choice.

Kit: "You're the chosen one!"

Everyone nodded quickly and shoved him towards the door. Anakin swallowed dryly and opened the door slowly to reveal Sidious and Dooku.

Anakin: "What the hell? What are you doing alive?"

They all stared curious as the two sith suddenly walked in calmly.

Sidious: "Your friend Aayla is truly a Master, she clobbered us at Dance dance revolutions!"

Everyone sweat dropped.

Everyone except the sith: "WHAT!?"

They told them of how as the others left scared Aayla challenged them to Dance dance revolutions and kicked their asses royally.

Dooku: "She possess a very powerful link to the dark side when dancing, very dirty stuff!"

They all fell over in shock as Aayla walked in looking refreshed.

Aayla: "What a great game!"

Everyone laughed nervous as she sat down.

Aayla: "Now where were we? Oh ya! Obi wan truth or dare?"

Obi wan: "Um… truth I would say?"

Aayla: "Did you get a hard on killing that bad old sith who killed Qui gon?"

Obi wan: "What!?"

Everyone burst out laughing except for Sidious who pulled out a picture of Darth Maul and kissed it.

Sidious: "You were my favorite!"

Obi wan coughed but answered rather red. "I uh, I did not!"

Aayla nodded and chuckled. "Your turn Gay wand."

Obi wan growled. "Shaak ti truth or dare?"

Shaak ti: "Hmm, let me think… Dare!"

Obi wan grinned evily. "I dare you to become my Consligleire!"

Shaak ti sweat dropped. "Your not the god father! But I guess I have no choice…"

Obi wan laughed triumphantly: "Good, and bye joining me your enemies will become my enemies, and then they will fear you!"

He laughed evily as Sidious chuckled.

Sidious: "Ya, but then I will kick your old ass as I am the TRUE Godfather!"

Obi wan growled and ignited his blade. "Lets go whore!"

Sidious ignited his own. "With pleasure!"

_Meanwhile on Yoda's ship_

Yoda sat twiddling his thumbs thinking of new ways to pass the time without Mace hounding him for sex. "I think I will watch Snakes on a Plane!"

As the little Jedi popped in the movie he got more and more sad as he watched Samuel Jackson's character kill the evil snakes. "Waaagh! I miss Mace!"

_I know this chapter sucked, I just couldn't get the feel of it! I think I need a beta reader…_


	10. 2 years in the making!

One year… one year 6 months and 6 days since I last updated this story… what can I say

_One year… one year 6 months and 6 days since I last updated this story… what can I say?_

_Except holy shit I still have fans for it! I hope you enjoy the fact that my grammar no longer sucks and my spelling is no longer a 3 year olds goal._

The crowd of Jedi, Sith, and droid bitch were gathered around watching as the two competitors dueled. Sidious vs Obi wan for the title of godfather.

"My bet is on Sidious." Dooku declared as around him everyone including Anakin nodded their heads in agreement.

"Wait Anakin what are you doing I thought Obi wan was your master!" Aayla asked curious as Anakin stared at her like she was crazy.

"Have you seen Sidious in episode 3? He kicks the shit out of Yoda… and Obi wan couldn't even beat Dooku… Sidious FTW." Grievous stared at him curious.

"What exactly is this FTW?" He asked while Kit answered.

"I believe its an acronym of the words: For The Win." He beamed at his l33t skillz.

"No no your wrong… it means #& the world!" Shaak ti swore causing Grievous to step back in shock and Anakin to hold his mouth like he was going to vomit.

"Dirty words lead to a dirty life style Master Ti…" Aayla remarked but couldn't finish because suddenly Shaak ti's fist had collided with her unfortunate unfortunate face.

"Oh no you did not bitch!" Aayla lunged as Shaak ti glared.

"Bitch you better back off…" She seethed as Aayla and Shaak ti became entwined in each others arms and were rolling across the floor.

"Dude…" Grievous nudged Anakin.

"Prep the camcorder we are back in the internet porn market!" Grievous whispered as Anakin began recording what they hoped would be a suitable home page starter.

The fight became so hot as legs were twisting together that both Sidious and Obi wan had forgotten their own scuffles and were now watching with peaked interest as two smoking hot ladies were now squeezing each other in an attempt to kill the other.

"Move the camera closer Anakin this is page viewer gold!" Grievous demanded as Anakin zoomed in. Everyone not fighting was forced to back up and watch as the two women stood up and began taking swings at one another.

"Are you sure we can sell this?" Anakin asked.

"Are you kidding?" Grievous interjected.

"The sexiest thing a man can hope for is two women strangling each other in sexual outfits… it combines the two best things about sex! Asphyxiation and leather outfits…"

Obi wan and Sidious knuckled.

"Hey Sidious, I'm on her council!" Obi wan bragged as Sidious one upped him.

"Hey Obi wan, Shes on my security!" Everyone forgot their conversations as the fight finally escalated to the two women being thrown across the room by each other. Aayla charged forth and just as Shaak ti was about to block a brutal kick she believed was aimed at her Aayla completely missed her and instead kicked a defenseless younger Togruta who everyone had only just noticed was in the room.

"Oh I am so sorry I didn't notice you…" Aayla apologized helping the stunned young Togruta up as Shaak ti and her forgot their quarrel and everyone else looked stunned.

"Hey I didn't notice her either… who is she?" Kit asked as everyone gathered around the new girl who now looked up at them before her gaze rested on Anakin.

"I'm Ahsoka… ow… and I am HIS padawan." She said pointing at Anakin.

"What?" Obi wan asked as everyone stared at Anakin who was now hiding behind Grievous.

"Um she is clearly just stunned from the fall… she should lye down, somewhere…" Everyone looked confused.

"We didn't notice you have you been here this whole time?" Shaak ti asked.

"Well technically I come some time during the story but ya I was here for a good portion of the entire clone wars…" Ahsoka declared.

"I wonder why we never noticed you…" Grievous pondered.

"Well that's what a lot of people were asking when I first appeared… I am so unloved by the fans…" Ahsoka said gloomily.

"Well you are sort of a sad combination of me and Aayla… I mean you're a smoking hot Togruta who dresses like a skank, that's sort of myself and Aayla right there." Shaak ti said matter of factly as everyone nodded.

"look it doesn't matter how she dresses unless… hey brat how old are you?" Grievous asked pondering as Ahsoka sniffling said.

"I'm 14…"

"Dear sweet balls of Lucas! Anakin put the camera down we cannot be recording her! Do you want the freaking kiddy porn police bashing down our doors?" Grievous shouted fumbling to smash the camera after taking it from Anakin.

"No! I'm too pretty for prison!" Anakin wailed as Grievous slapped him.

"Get ahold of yourself man we gotta think… oh man, do you know what they do to guys like us in prison?" Grievous bawled as Dooku chuckling said.

"They hang you by your feet and go at you like wampas… I mean… so I hear." Everyone ignored the older man and gathered their attention away from the two worried have robotic lightsaber badass's and back to Ahsoka who was a little calmer.

"Well guys now that I am finally noticed in this universe what do we do for fun?" She asked beaming as Obi wan groaned.

"We force ourselves to do silly painful and humiliating activities for sport… and kill each other." Kit explained as Ahsoka giggled happily.

"That sounds an awful lot like back home at the jedi temple! Awesome I'm in!"

Everyone sighed at their newest members enthusiasm as Anakin and Grievous finished their panicked planning.

"Ok ok ok… um remember the plan ok?" Grievous barked at a hyperventilating Anakin.

"What have I done?" Anakin whined as Grievous slapped him and shook him.

"The plan!" He demanded.

"Ya ya, I never saw any kiddy porn, and your names not Grievous its Muriel…" Grievous grabbed Anakins shoulders and growled.

"What! Who told you these things? Nevermind… just don't tell the cops I was in on it or your going to have a new reason to never get married after Padme!"

The two idiots joined the rest of the crew as they formed a circle with Ahsoka sitting happily next to Obi wan who uncomfortably asked.

"So who's turn is it?"

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Meanwhile on a ship not far from our last location…

"I believe that our best plan to bring Mace back to you Yoda would be to simply go ghost I mean it worked pretty damn well for me!" The spirit form of Qui gon jinn smiled at a meditating Yoda holding his favorite Kermit the frog blanky.

"Sure you are that he won't be upset with me yes?" He asked nervously as Qui gon chuckled.

"Of course not… remember that you only sent him away in a pod full of explosives… it was he who molested your light saber in his shrine of you…" Yoda sighed at his words.

"Those were the best most fucked up days of my 800 year old life…"

_I am wondering if this is even funny any more…_


End file.
